This might sound crazy, but have you tried tweeting at them? I've seen some people get responses from government agencies on social media when all else failed. Worth a shot? 🤷‍♂️

Hey Aurora! I went through this exact same nightmare about a year ago. Here's what finally worked for me: try calling the SSA number (1-800-772-1213) at exactly 8:00 AM when they open - set multiple alarms! I also found that Tuesdays and Wednesdays tend to be less busy than Mondays. Another trick: when you get the automated menu, press 0 immediately and keep pressing it - sometimes it bypasses the system and gets you to a human faster. Also, make sure you have your documents ready before you even get the appointment - they're super strict about having everything in order. Don't give up, you'll get through eventually! The bureaucracy is frustrating but persistence pays off. 💪

Update: I submitted the form with my brother listed and his current jail address, with a note that he's being transferred soon. The SSA rep I finally spoke with (thanks for the Claimyr suggestion!) said that was exactly the right approach. She also said I should contact them once he's transferred to update his address in their system. Thanks everyone for your help!

Great to see this worked out for you! Just wanted to add for anyone else in a similar situation - when dealing with incarcerated family members on SSA forms, it's also helpful to keep a record of the facility's booking number or inmate ID if you have it. This can make it easier for SSA to verify the information if they need to. Also, most correctional facilities have specific procedures for official mail, so when you do need to update SSA with the new prison address later, make sure you get the complete mailing format from the facility (they often require specific formatting with inmate numbers, housing units, etc.).

make sure u bring ALL ur paperwork to that appointment!!! birth certificates, marriage certificate, death certificate, workers comp award letter, tax returns, EVERYTHING. my aunt forgot one document and had to reschedule the whole thing and wait another month!!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Noah. Losing a spouse so young is devastating, and navigating all these benefit questions while grieving is incredibly difficult. I wanted to add something that might be helpful - when you have your SSA appointment, consider asking them to run a "what-if" scenario analysis. They can show you the exact dollar amounts for different claiming strategies (survivor benefits now vs. waiting, switching timelines, etc.) based on your specific work history and your husband's earnings record. Also, since you're dealing with both workers comp death benefits AND Social Security, you might want to contact your state's workers compensation board to ask specifically about any coordination of benefits rules. Some states have provisions that could affect how these benefits interact, and it's better to know upfront rather than discover issues later. One last thought - if you do decide to retire in June as planned, make sure to notify SSA immediately when your earnings stop. They can adjust your benefits effective that month rather than waiting until the end of the year, which could mean receiving benefits sooner than you think. Wishing you the best as you navigate this complex situation. You're asking all the right questions!

my mom got my dads full benefit when he died and they were married when he passed but she had to be 60 to get it i think. they told her if she remarried she'd lose it so she never did even though she had a boyfriend for 15 years lol

This is such valuable information - thank you everyone for sharing your experiences! I had no idea about any of these rules. It sounds like I should definitely keep my marriage certificate and divorce decree in an easily accessible place, and maybe write down my ex's SSN if I can find it. One follow-up question: since I'm already 64 and collecting my own reduced benefit (started at 62), would it make sense to look into applying for divorced spouse benefits now while he's alive? Or would that complicate things later when applying for survivor benefits? I don't want to mess anything up by applying for the wrong thing at the wrong time. Also, is there any way to find out what his current benefit amount is without contacting him directly? We really haven't spoken since the divorce and I'd prefer to keep it that way.

i had a friend who just ignored the overpayment notices and nothing happened for like a year then they started taking $75 out of her check each month. she said its better than paying it all back at once

I went through almost the exact same situation last year with my SSDI overpayment. The key thing that saved me was getting a complete copy of my SSA file through a Freedom of Information Act request - it showed exactly when they received my workers' comp information and that they had it when they calculated my backpay. Also, don't let them rush you into accepting a payment plan! If your brother truly wasn't at fault (which it sounds like he wasn't), he should be able to get the entire overpayment waived. I almost agreed to pay $50/month because I was so stressed, but my advocate told me to hold out for full waiver. It took 8 months but they eventually approved it. One more tip - if he has to do a phone conference, ask for it to be recorded. They're required to do this if you request it, and it protects you if they misrepresent what was said. The recording becomes part of your official file.