Ok but what about stuff thats a little more complicated? I had a situation where I sold an item on ebay on Dec 30 2024 but the money didnt hit my account until Jan 3 2025 and paypal sent me a 1099-K for 2025. But the actual sale happened in 2024. Which year is this supposed to be reported for?

Just to add another perspective on timing that might help others - retirement account withdrawals follow the same "when you receive it" rule. I had an early 401k withdrawal in late December 2024, but my former employer didn't process it until January 2025. Even though I requested it in 2024, it shows up on my 2025 1099-R because that's when I actually received the funds. This timing can actually be strategic if you're trying to manage your tax bracket - you might want to delay a withdrawal to the following year if you've already had a high-income year. Same goes for things like cashing out unused vacation days or exercising stock options. The key is always when the money hits your account or you receive the check, not when you initiated the transaction.

I went through this exact same panic a few months ago! Here's what I learned that might help you feel better: the IRS confirmation letter is really just proof that you filed correctly, but it's not actually required for your tax return filing. Since you remember filing the 83B election properly and on time, you're in good shape. The IRS has their own records of receiving it. Here's what worked for me when I was in your situation: **First**, do a thorough email search across ALL your accounts (personal, work, even old ones you barely use) for keywords like "83B", "election confirmation", "IRS", and the month you filed. I found mine buried in a work email I'd completely forgotten about. **Second**, check with your company's equity team or whoever helped coordinate your stock options. They often keep copies of all employee filings. In my case, our legal team had everything including the certified mail receipt. **Third**, if you really want official confirmation for peace of mind, you can call the IRS (using those callback services mentioned above - they actually work!) to verify your election is in their system. The key thing is you filed it on time, which is what actually matters for your taxes. Everything else is just documentation. Since you have until October with your extension, you have plenty of time to track this down through multiple channels. Don't stress too much - you're going to be fine!

I totally get the anxiety you're feeling! I lost my 83B confirmation letter too and was convinced I'd somehow messed up my entire tax situation. But after going through this process, I can confirm what others have said - you don't actually need that physical letter for filing your return. What really helped me was understanding that the 83B election is a separate filing from your tax return. You filed it once within 30 days of getting your stock grant (which you did), and now you just report the tax consequences based on that election when you file annually. Here's my practical advice: Start with the easy stuff first. Search your emails thoroughly - I used search terms like "83B", "election", "confirmation", "acknowledgment", and even just "IRS" around the time period when you would have received it. Don't forget to check any shared drives or cloud storage where you might have saved a PDF copy. If that doesn't work, definitely reach out to your company's HR or legal team. They're usually really helpful with this stuff since it affects employees' tax situations. Most companies keep comprehensive records of equity-related filings. You've got plenty of time with your October extension, and honestly, the fact that you filed the election properly is what matters most for your taxes. The confirmation letter would just be nice to have for your records, but it's not make-or-break for your filing!

Has anyone here actually been audited because of a similar living situation? I'm wondering if this is something the IRS actively looks for or if we're all being paranoid.

This is such a common situation these days with housing costs being what they are! I went through something very similar about 3 years ago when my ex and I had to share our old house again for financial reasons. One thing that really helped us was establishing a clear "household expense sharing agreement" right from the start. We literally split everything 50/50 and kept receipts for EVERYTHING - utilities, groceries, household supplies, even toilet paper. It sounds tedious but it made tax time so much cleaner. Since you mentioned you maintain completely separate finances, I'd suggest opening a joint checking account specifically for shared household expenses only. Each of you contributes exactly half each month, and all shared bills come from that account. This creates a crystal clear paper trail that shows you're truly splitting costs equally, which supports your single filing status. Also, definitely keep that alternating dependent claim arrangement from your divorce decree. The IRS respects those agreements as long as the non-claiming parent signs Form 8332 each year. Having that consistency actually works in your favor because it shows you're following an established legal arrangement, not trying to game the system.

This is such a helpful thread! I'm dealing with something similar for my father who has a pension from the Netherlands. One thing I learned that might help - make sure to check if the Belgian pension system has any tax withholding agreements that could affect how much tax is withheld at the source. In our case, we had to file a form with the Dutch tax authorities to reduce the withholding rate based on the treaty benefits. This made the foreign tax credit calculation much cleaner on the US side. Belgium might have similar procedures that could simplify your mother-in-law's situation. Also, definitely keep detailed records of all the Belgian tax documents - not just for the current year but going back a few years. The IRS sometimes asks for historical documentation when they see foreign income reported for the first time, especially with older taxpayers who might have had unreported foreign income in previous years.

Great question about the Belgian pension! I went through this exact situation with my mother who has a pension from Ireland. A few key points that might help: First, yes, she absolutely needs to report the full pension amount on her US tax return regardless of the treaty - the IRS requires all worldwide income to be reported. But the good news is the US-Belgium tax treaty will protect her from double taxation through the foreign tax credit system. One thing I discovered that wasn't immediately obvious - make sure you're converting the pension amounts using the correct exchange rates for tax purposes. The IRS has specific guidance on this, and using the wrong conversion method can cause headaches later. Also, since she's been in the US for 3 years, double-check that she properly reported this pension income for the previous tax years too. If this is the first time it's being reported, you might want to consider filing amended returns for prior years to avoid any potential issues down the road. The TurboTax foreign income section should handle most of this, but don't hesitate to consult with a tax professional who specializes in international taxation if the situation feels complex. Belgian pensions can have some unique treaty provisions that general tax software might not catch.

If your cousin ever resurfaces and pays you back after you've claimed the bad debt deduction, you'll need to report that as income in the year you receive it (to the extent you received a tax benefit from the deduction). Just something to keep in mind.

I'm dealing with a similar situation right now - lent money to a family member who disappeared. One thing I learned from my tax preparer is that you should also keep records of any attempts to locate the debtor, not just collect from them. Screenshots of failed texts, returned mail, even notes about conversations with mutual contacts can help establish that the debt truly became uncollectible. Also, make sure you have clear documentation that this was actually a loan and not a gift. Bank records showing the transfer, any written agreements (even informal ones), and evidence that repayment was expected are crucial. The IRS sometimes challenges these deductions by claiming they were really gifts to family members. Having that promissory note you mentioned puts you in a much better position than most people in this situation.