As someone who went through this exact situation two years ago, I feel your pain! The SSA phone wait times are absolutely brutal. Here's what finally worked for me: I called my local SSA office directly (not the main 1-800 number) and was able to schedule a phone appointment for later that week. Many local offices offer scheduled phone consultations where they call YOU at the appointed time - no waiting on hold! You can find your local office number on the SSA website using your zip code. When I had my scheduled call, the representative was able to calculate my ex-spouse benefit estimate in about 10 minutes. Just make sure you have your ex's full name, date of birth, and SSN ready (which you mentioned you have from old tax returns). The estimate they gave me was spot-on when I actually filed. This approach saved me hours of frustration and I got accurate information from someone who had time to explain everything properly.

I just discovered another option that might help - some SSA offices have self-service kiosks where you can pull certain benefit information without waiting in line. However, I'm not sure if they show ex-spouse benefit estimates specifically. You might also want to check if your local library has a SSA outreach program - mine has a volunteer AARP tax counselor who comes in twice a month and is really knowledgeable about Social Security benefits. She helped my neighbor figure out her widow's benefits without having to deal with SSA directly. It's worth asking your librarian if they have any similar programs. The volunteer couldn't give official estimates, but she walked through the calculation method so my neighbor knew roughly what to expect before making the SSA appointment.

my payment just came thru today! check your accounts everyone

This whole thread has me worried about my upcoming move abroad. Does anyone know if receiving payments on a US bank account and then transferring internationally is more reliable than direct international deposit? I'm on SSDI and absolutely cannot handle payment delays when I move.

This thread has been so useful. I had no idea there were so many options with survivor benefits. Has anyone used a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security planning? Worth it?

Thank you everyone for the helpful information! I feel much better knowing that my husband's early claiming won't permanently reduce what I might receive as a survivor benefit if I wait until my FRA. I'm also intrigued by the strategy of possibly taking survivor benefits at FRA and then switching to my own benefit at 70 if it would be higher with the delayed retirement credits. I've been trying to call SSA to confirm all this for my specific situation but haven't been able to get through. I'll try that Claimyr service someone mentioned. It's such a relief to understand this better - these decisions affect the rest of our lives and it's so hard to find clear information sometimes.

Has anyone else noticed they keep changing these rules every few years?? My mom got benefits from her ex husband but they were only married 8 years I think... but that was back in the 90s so maybe rules were different then???

Just wanted to add that if you're still worried about any of this, you can create a my Social Security account online at ssa.gov to see your earnings record and get benefit estimates. It's really helpful for planning purposes and you can see exactly what your projected benefits would be based on your current earnings history. Plus, if there are any errors in your record, you can spot them early and get them corrected. The online account also shows you what documents SSA has on file for you, including marriage and divorce records that affect benefit eligibility.

just wanted to say im sorry for your loss. please make sure you also apply for the lump sum death payment from social security. its only $255 but its something. you have to call them about it though they dont just give it to you automatically

I'm so deeply sorry for your loss, Chloe. What you're going through is incredibly difficult, and having to navigate these complex Social Security decisions while grieving is overwhelming. Based on what everyone has shared, I'd strongly encourage you to withdraw your current retirement application using Form SSA-521 before benefits begin. As a widow, you now have strategic options that weren't available before - you can potentially optimize between your own retirement benefits and survivor benefits. A few additional points to consider: 1. **Timing flexibility**: Since you're 63, you have time to make the optimal choice rather than rushing into the first available option. 2. **Work considerations**: The earnings test ($23,520 annual limit for 2025) applies equally to both retirement and survivor benefits, so your work income will impact either choice the same way until you reach FRA. 3. **Professional guidance**: Given the complexity and long-term financial impact (potentially tens of thousands over your lifetime), consider consulting with a fee-only financial planner who specializes in Social Security strategies, in addition to speaking with SSA directly. Take your time with this decision - there's no rush once you withdraw your current application. Your financial security is important, but so is your emotional well-being during this difficult time.