I'm going through something similar with my elderly father right now. One thing I learned is that you should also ask about becoming an "organizational representative payee" if you're worried about your own future ability to manage her benefits. This lets you designate a backup organization (like a nonprofit or financial institution) to take over if something happens to you. Also, when you do get the rep payee status, make sure to ask SSA about setting up online access through my Social Security. As her representative payee, you can create an account to manage her benefits online, which makes things much easier than calling or visiting offices all the time. The whole process took about 6 weeks for us from application to receiving the first benefit payment in my name. Just wanted to give you a realistic timeline expectation!

I went through this exact situation with my grandmother last year. A few things I learned that might help: 1. You can actually start both processes simultaneously - apply for rep payee status AND get the POA documents done. They don't interfere with each other. 2. For the SSA interview, they were very understanding about my grandmother's anxiety. The caseworker kept it short and asked simple questions like "Do you know who this person is?" and "Are you okay with them helping you with your Social Security?" 3. One thing nobody warned me about - once you become rep payee, her benefits will stop going to her account and start coming to yours. Make sure you coordinate this timing with her bill payments so nothing gets missed during the transition. 4. Keep a simple spreadsheet from day one tracking her benefit amount, what you spend it on, and the remaining balance. The annual reporting is much easier if you've been tracking all along. The whole process was less scary than I expected, but definitely start now while your mom can still participate in the decision. Good luck!

I'm a benefits counselor and wanted to add some clarity to this discussion. While the advice here has been generally good, there are a few nuances worth mentioning: First, regarding the "gap year" - you may not have zero income during that period. If you have your own work record (even from part-time work), you'll receive your own retirement benefit during the waiting period. The key is understanding what portion of your current $1,100 is YOUR benefit versus the spousal add-on. Second, about timing and FRA - the rule about remarrying after FRA is more restrictive than some comments suggest. You can only continue receiving divorced spousal benefits after remarrying at FRA if your NEW spouse is also receiving Social Security benefits. This isn't always the case. Third, consider this strategy: before remarrying, file a new application to switch from divorced spousal benefits to your own retirement benefit (if it's available and makes sense). This way, you'll know exactly what YOUR baseline benefit is, and remarriage won't create a sudden change - just a delay in accessing the new spousal benefit. I'd strongly recommend getting a personalized benefit estimate from SSA that shows all your options before making this decision. The difference in timing could easily be worth $10,000+ over your lifetime.

I'm going through a very similar situation right now! I'm 63 and receiving divorced spousal benefits, and my partner and I have been discussing marriage. After reading all these responses, I realize I need to get much more specific information from SSA before we make any decisions. One thing I wanted to add that might be helpful - I recently discovered that my local SSA office offers in-person appointments for complex benefit questions like this. It took about 3 weeks to get an appointment, but it was so much better than trying to get through on the phone. They were able to pull up my exact records and run different scenarios for me right there. Also, I found it really helpful to bring my partner with me to understand the financial implications together. This kind of decision affects both people in the relationship, and having those conversations upfront about the potential income gap and how to handle it made us both feel more confident about our planning. Good luck with whatever you decide! The most important thing is that you're being so thoughtful about getting all the information first.

Just to clarify one more important point that might help with your planning - if your husband passes away and you're already receiving your own retirement benefits, Social Security will automatically pay you the higher of the two amounts, not both. So if you're getting your $1100 retirement benefit and become eligible for his $1650 survivor benefit, you'd receive $1650 total (not $2750). This is called the "offset rule" and catches a lot of people off guard. The good news is that since his benefit is higher, you'd definitely come out ahead as a survivor even if you start your own benefits early. Just wanted to make sure you had the complete picture for your decision!

As someone who works with Social Security benefits regularly, I want to emphasize one crucial strategy that might help your situation. Since your husband is currently 65 and collecting $1650, and your own benefit would be $1100, you have what's called a "restricted application" opportunity if you haven't filed yet. You could potentially file for spousal benefits on his record (up to 50% of his FRA amount, so around $825) while letting your own retirement benefit continue to grow with delayed retirement credits until age 70. This would give you some income now while maximizing your future benefit. Then if he passes away, you'd have the option to switch to his full survivor benefit. However, this strategy only works if you were born before January 2, 1954, due to rule changes. If you're younger than that, you'd be deemed to file for both benefits simultaneously and get the higher of the two. Either way, the key takeaway is that survivor benefits ARE your best long-term option given the $550/month difference, and waiting until your FRA to claim them (if he passes) would get you his full amount. The flexibility to switch between benefit types is really valuable in your situation!

Just wanted to update everyone. I called SSA this morning (took forever to get through!) and the representative confirmed I AM eligible for the spousal top-up right now - I didn't need to wait until my husband reaches any specific age. However, there was a correction to my original post - I miscalculated my FRA. Since I was born in 1959, my actual FRA is 66 and 10 months, which I haven't reached yet. The rep said I can still apply now, but the amount will be slightly reduced until I reach my true FRA in 8 months. I decided to go ahead and apply now anyway, since the reduction is small and I'd rather start receiving the higher benefit amount. Thank you all for your help!

Congratulations on getting through to SSA and getting this resolved! Your update is really valuable for others who might be in a similar situation. It's interesting that even though you hadn't quite reached your true FRA, they still allowed you to apply with just a small reduction. That makes a lot of sense financially - why wait 8 months when you can start receiving the higher benefit amount now, even if it's slightly reduced? The math probably works out better in your favor. Thanks for taking the time to update us with the outcome - it really helps clarify how this process actually works in practice!

don't forget that if you're collecting at 62 your already taking a big reduction on your own benefit. like 30% less than your FRA amount. so waiting til FRA for survivors makes sense if you can

I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this difficult situation. Planning ahead shows real care and responsibility. From what I've learned through my own research, you have several strategic options to consider: If your wife passes before you claim benefits, you could potentially claim survivor benefits as early as age 60, but they'd be reduced. Alternatively, you could wait until your FRA to get her full benefit amount without reduction. If you've already started your own benefits when she passes, you'd get the higher of the two amounts. Given that her SSDI is $2,450 vs your projected $1,650 at 62, you'd likely benefit from the survivor option. One strategy might be to delay your own benefits past 62 to let them grow (they increase until age 70), while knowing you'd have the survivor benefit safety net. This could maximize your household income while she's still with you. I'd strongly recommend making an appointment with SSA to run scenarios with your actual earnings records. They can show you projections for different claiming strategies. Also consider consulting with a financial planner who specializes in Social Security - the rules are complex and a small difference in timing can mean thousands in lifetime benefits. Wishing you and your wife strength during this challenging time.