I work for a nonprofit that helps families navigate SSA claims, and this situation is unfortunately becoming more common. Here's what I'd recommend your sister-in-law do immediately: 1. Request a supervisor review at the SSA office - don't accept "no" from the first representative 2. Bring a comprehensive packet including: marriage certificate, birth certificate, health insurance documents, tax returns showing the child as a dependent, and any photos/social media posts of your brother with the baby 3. Specifically ask them to apply the "marital presumption of paternity" under your state's inheritance laws If they still deny it, she should file Form SSA-561 (Request for Reconsideration) within 60 days. Also, consider contacting your local congressman's office - they often have staff who specialize in helping constituents with federal agency issues like this. The fact that they were married when the child was born should absolutely be sufficient under federal regulations. This sounds like an overzealous claims representative rather than proper policy application. Don't give up - your nephew is entitled to these benefits!

I'm really sorry for your loss and what your sister-in-law is going through right now. This is such an additional burden during an already difficult time. I wanted to mention one more document that sometimes gets overlooked - if your brother ever took the baby to any doctor visits, those medical records often list the father's name and can serve as contemporary evidence of the parent-child relationship. Even something like vaccination records or well-baby checkup notes from the pediatrician might work. Also, if they have any joint bank accounts or if your brother ever wrote checks for baby-related expenses (diapers, formula, childcare, etc.), those financial records can help establish that he was acting as the child's father. The advice others have given about using the specific legal language around "marital presumption of paternity" is spot on. When she goes in for her next appointment, she should be prepared to calmly but firmly state that under state inheritance laws, children born during a valid marriage are legally presumed to be the children of both spouses. I hope she gets this resolved quickly. Your nephew deserves those benefits, and the documentation she has should absolutely be sufficient.

Great thread everyone! As a newcomer to Social Security, I wanted to add that the IRS also has a helpful Interactive Tax Assistant tool online that can help determine if your Social Security benefits will be taxable based on your specific income situation. It walks you through the calculation step by step. Also, for those mentioning quarterly estimated taxes as an alternative to withholding - you can use Form 1040ES to calculate and make those payments. The due dates are typically January 15th, April 15th, June 15th, and September 15th each year. One thing I learned from my accountant is that if you're married and your spouse is still working with regular W-2 withholding, you might be able to increase their withholding instead of setting up withholding on Social Security. Sometimes that's simpler than managing multiple withholding sources. Just another option to consider!

As someone who just started navigating Social Security benefits myself, I want to thank everyone for this incredibly helpful discussion! I'm in a similar situation to Malik - just turned 66 and received my first SS check last month. One thing I discovered that might help others is that you can also access and print Form W-4V directly from the SSA website (ssa.gov) under "Forms" rather than having to call. I was able to fill it out online, print it, and mail it in. Took about 6 weeks for the withholding to start showing up on my monthly statements. I chose 12% withholding after using that IRS tax estimator tool Sean mentioned - it really helped me understand my potential tax liability. Between my pension, some part-time consulting work, and Social Security, I was definitely going to owe taxes on my benefits. The peace of mind is worth it. Last thing any of us retirees need is a big unexpected tax bill when we're on fixed incomes!

does anyone know if they give back this money they take? or is it just gone forever?

This thread has been incredibly helpful! I'm 63 and considering taking early retirement benefits while doing some consulting work, but after reading all of this I'm realizing I need to be much more careful about the earnings limit than I thought. The fact that they take full months instead of partial amounts is a huge detail that's not well communicated. Does anyone know if there's a good resource or calculator that can help estimate how many months of benefits would be withheld based on expected earnings? I want to make sure I understand the real impact before I make this decision.

Yes, SSA can absolutely provide you with benefit projections at different claiming ages! When you call or visit a local office, ask them to run what's called a "benefit estimate" or "what-if" scenario. They can show you exactly what your retirement benefit would be at 62, at your Full Retirement Age, and at age 70, while you continue receiving your current survivor benefit. You can also get some of this information by creating a my Social Security account at ssa.gov - it will show your estimated retirement benefits at different ages. Just remember that as long as you're receiving survivor benefits, you have the luxury of time to let your own retirement benefit grow. Take advantage of having all the numbers before making your decision!

Just wanted to add one more resource that might help - many local libraries offer free AARP tax preparation services that often include Social Security counseling. The volunteers are usually trained on these complex claiming strategies and can help you run the numbers without any sales pressure. Also, some libraries have computers set up specifically for accessing government websites like ssa.gov if you need help navigating the online tools. Since you're dealing with the survivor benefit complexity, having someone sit with you while you explore your options online might be really valuable. Good luck with your decision!

Thank you everyone for all this helpful information! I'm going to try to set up an appointment with SSA to discuss our specific situation. The Medicaid considerations are especially important since my son uses several Medicaid-funded services. It sounds like I should:1. Apply for both DAC and CIC benefits at the same time2. Check with our state Medicaid office about continued eligibility under DAC3. Understand that my son's benefits get priority before mine4. Know that applying for CIC now won't affect my future retirement/spousal benefitsI really appreciate all of you taking time to help me understand this complicated system!

You've got a great plan laid out! Just wanted to add one more thing that might help - when you go to your SSA appointment, bring documentation showing you're your son's caregiver (medical records, care plans, etc.) and ask them to run the exact calculations for your family's situation. They can tell you the precise family maximum amount and how the benefits would be distributed between DAC and CIC. Also, definitely contact your state Medicaid office BEFORE making any changes. Some states have "Medicaid buy-in" programs for disabled individuals who lose SSI eligibility due to other income, but the rules vary widely by state. You want to make sure there won't be any gaps in his healthcare coverage during the transition. Good luck with everything! This system is incredibly complex, but it sounds like you're asking all the right questions.