I'm a family law attorney who has worked on Social Security benefit cases, and I want to strongly encourage you not to give up yet. The advice you've received here about checking the exact legal dates is absolutely critical. I've seen cases where couples believed they had divorced and remarried when legally they never actually completed the first divorce due to procedural issues, missing signatures, or filing errors. Also, pay close attention to whether your state requires a waiting period after filing for divorce before it becomes final - some states have 30, 60, or even 90-day waiting periods. If you reconciled and remarried during that waiting period, you may have had one continuous marriage legally speaking. Additionally, check if your first divorce decree contained any language about "interlocutory" vs "final" decrees - some jurisdictions issue preliminary divorce orders that don't become final until additional steps are completed. I'd also recommend requesting a complete file from the court clerk's office for both divorce proceedings, not just the final decrees. Sometimes there are amended orders, continuances, or other documents that could affect the timeline. Given that you were married 11 years total to the same person, this is definitely worth pursuing thoroughly before accepting that you don't qualify.

I'm a Social Security benefits coordinator at a nonprofit that helps seniors navigate the system, and I want to add one more important consideration that hasn't been mentioned yet. When you go to your local SSA field office with all your documentation, ask specifically to speak with a Claims Specialist or Technical Expert rather than a general service representative. These specialists have advanced training in complex cases and access to detailed policy manuals that can make all the difference in situations like yours. Also, if your initial review doesn't go in your favor, don't be afraid to ask for a supervisor or request that they document their decision in writing with specific policy citations. Sometimes a fresh set of eyes or someone with more experience can spot something that was missed initially. I've seen cases where the first representative said "no way" but a supervisor or specialist found a pathway to approval. Given all the excellent advice in this thread about potential legal technicalities with your divorce/remarriage timeline, I'm cautiously optimistic that there might be something there for you. The key is getting the right person at SSA to do a thorough review with someone who really knows the ins and outs of these complex marriage duration rules.

I'm also navigating SSI issues as a newcomer here and this thread has been incredibly informative. What strikes me is how many families are dealing with this exact same problem - it seems like there's a real gap in how SSA handles custody changes and ensures benefits follow the child's actual living situation. For anyone starting this process, I'd suggest creating a simple spreadsheet to track everything: dates your child is with you, expenses you cover, medical appointments, therapy sessions, school activities, etc. Having this organized from day one will make the SSA application much smoother. Also, if your custody agreement specifies overnight percentages like 70/30, make sure you have certified copies - SSA will want official documentation. One question for those who have been through this: did any of you face retaliation from the other parent during the process? I'm worried about potential complications with visitation or other custody issues while pursuing the payee change.

I'm new to this community but have been following this discussion closely as I'm in a very similar situation. My 13-year-old son with intellectual disabilities receives SSI, but his mother is the representative payee even though he lives with me about 65% of the time following our recent custody modification. Reading through all these responses has given me so much valuable information - especially about Form SSA-11 and the fact that SSA typically prefers to assign payee status to whoever has majority physical custody. I had no idea about the annual Representative Payee Report requirement either, or that SSA can investigate how current benefits are being used. What really resonates with me is how many families are dealing with this exact issue. It seems like there's a systemic problem where SSA doesn't automatically review payee arrangements when custody situations change. I'm definitely going to start documenting everything like everyone has suggested - expenses, overnight stays, medical appointments, therapy sessions - and look into that Claimyr service to actually get through to SSA. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and advice. It's encouraging to know that others have successfully navigated this process and gotten the benefits properly allocated to follow their child's actual living situation. The money should be supporting our kids wherever they spend their time, not just benefiting one parent's household.

I'm dealing with this exact same frustrating situation right now! Been trying to get my Social Security retirement benefits processed through the Manila FBU for almost 2 months at age 68, and it's been an absolute nightmare. The phone system is completely broken - I've called during their supposed "office hours" at least 15 times and never once reached a human being. This thread is pure gold! I'm taking screenshots of every strategy mentioned here. The combination of @Jamal Wilson's urgent email format, @Ayla Kumar's congressional inquiry approach, @Mei Chen's ACS contact method, @Michael Green's VPN tip for MySocialSecurity setup, @Alexis Renard's fax number, and @GalaxyGlider's main SSA customer service backup plan gives me so much hope. I'm particularly worried because I'm already well past my FRA and feel like I'm losing money every day this drags on. But reading that multiple people here eventually succeeded with full retroactive payments is incredibly reassuring. One additional tip I discovered: If you have any military connections (active duty, veterans, or DoD civilian employees), they sometimes have access to expedited federal benefits processing channels through their personnel offices. My brother-in-law is retired Navy and is looking into this angle for me. Planning to implement the complete multi-channel strategy starting tomorrow: urgent weekly emails to [email protected] with proper formatting, congressional inquiry through my former district in Texas, MySocialSecurity account setup using VPN, fax backup to 632-301-2017, calls to main SSA line, and maybe even a respectful Facebook post if needed. It's absolutely ridiculous that American citizens need a comprehensive battle plan just to access benefits we've paid into for decades! But thanks to everyone sharing their experiences - this thread has become the definitive survival guide for Manila FBU hell. Will definitely update with results!

I'm currently going through this exact same nightmare! Just turned 66 and have been battling the Manila FBU for about 5 weeks now with absolutely zero progress. The phone system is completely non-functional - I've called during their "office hours" probably 18 times and never once gotten through to an actual person. This thread is absolutely invaluable! I'm taking detailed notes on every single strategy shared here. The urgent email formatting from @Jamal Wilson, congressional inquiry approach from @Ayla Kumar, ACS contact method from @Mei Chen, VPN tip for MySocialSecurity from @Michael Green, the fax number from @Alexis Renard, main SSA customer service backup from @GalaxyGlider, and now the military connection angle from @Andre Dubois - this is like a masterclass in bureaucratic warfare! I'm particularly stressed because every month of delay feels like lost money, but hearing about the retroactive payments is keeping me sane. One thing I wanted to add: I discovered that some expat Facebook groups (like "Americans in the Philippines" and "US Expats Philippines") have members who've recently gone through this process and sometimes share even more current contact information or workarounds. Worth checking those communities too. Planning to launch the full assault next week: urgent emails with proper subject lines, congressional inquiry through my former rep in Florida, MySocialSecurity setup with VPN, fax backup, main SSA calls, and tapping into expat Facebook networks. It's absolutely insane that we need a PhD in government bureaucracy just to file for benefits we've earned over decades of work! But this community is incredible - we're literally creating the ultimate survival guide for this broken system. Thanks everyone for sharing your hard-won knowledge!

That's fantastic news! So happy to hear your appeal was successful. Thanks for updating us - it's helpful for others who might face similar issues in the future.

Congratulations on winning your appeal! This is such encouraging news for families dealing with similar situations. Your experience really highlights how important it is to gather comprehensive documentation and not give up after the initial denial. The fact that you got backpay too is huge - that makes such a difference for families who rely on these benefits. Thanks for taking the time to update everyone with the successful outcome and the specific steps that worked. This thread is going to be incredibly valuable for other parents navigating SSA's confusing policies around non-traditional schools.

What a fantastic outcome! Your persistence really paid off, and this thread is going to be so helpful for others facing the same confusion. It's amazing how much difference the right terminology makes - "excess spousal benefits" and "dual entitlement" seem to be the key phrases that get SSA representatives on the same page. The fact that it came down to checking the wrong box on a previous form is both maddening and enlightening. It shows how easy it is for these situations to get derailed by small miscommunications, but also that the solution can be simpler than we think once everyone understands what's actually being requested. Your approach of asking to see the calculation is really smart too. So many people just accept whatever number they're given without understanding how SSA arrived at it. Getting that transparency will help you verify everything is correct and give you confidence in the process. Thanks for taking the time to update us with your success - it's exactly this kind of real-world experience that makes this community so valuable. Wishing you a smooth process from here on out!

This is such a valuable thread for anyone dealing with spousal benefit confusion! @Clay blendedgen, congratulations on finally getting through to someone who understood what you needed. Your experience perfectly illustrates why precision in terminology is so critical when dealing with SSA. For future reference for anyone reading this, I'd add one more tip: if you're ever unsure about which form to complete or which boxes to check, don't hesitate to ask the representative to walk you through it over the phone before you submit anything. Many processing delays and errors happen because forms are filled out incorrectly, not because people aren't eligible for what they're requesting. It's also worth noting that once your excess spousal benefit is processed, you should receive a new benefit verification letter showing both your own retirement benefit amount and the additional spousal amount. Keep that letter in a safe place - you'll need it for tax purposes and it's helpful documentation if any questions arise in the future. Thanks for sharing your success story and for updating the community. Stories like yours help demystify the Social Security process for everyone!