Has anyone considered the pro/cons of NOT repaying the CARES withdrawal? I took about $30k out and am now able to repay, but I'm wondering if it might actually be better to just pay the taxes (I selected the 3-year option) and keep the money out? My reasoning is that I'm 52 and might get more benefit from using that money now rather than having it locked away until retirement.

I went through a very similar situation last year and want to share what I learned. First, definitely make sure you understand which tax treatment you originally elected for your CARES withdrawal - this makes a big difference in how the repayment works. One thing that caught me off guard was the timing. Even though you have until the 3-year deadline to repay, you need to make sure you do it in the right tax year if you want the tax benefits for that year. I almost missed this and would have had to wait until the following year to get my refund. Also, regarding your Roth conversion question - since you mentioned your income is still relatively low, this could be a great opportunity. You're essentially paying taxes now at lower rates to avoid potentially higher rates later. Just make sure you have enough cash outside of retirement accounts to pay the conversion taxes without touching the converted funds. Have you calculated what your total tax liability would be for both the CARES repayment (if you don't repay) and the Roth conversion? That might help you decide the optimal strategy.

Have you checked if there were any math errors on your return? Sometimes that can cause major delays.

I feel your pain! I'm actually going through something similar - been waiting 10 months for my 2023 refund. After reading through all these comments, I'm definitely going to check my tax transcript like Nick suggested. That breakdown of the codes to look for is super helpful. I had no idea about the Taxpayer Advocate Service either - might be worth looking into if this drags on much longer. It's frustrating how inconsistent the whole process seems to be. Some people get their refunds in weeks, others wait over a year. Hang in there, Ryan! 🤞

Just to add another perspective - while it's definitely good to correct mistakes, don't overthink this too much. The Child and Dependent Care Credit is one that the IRS sees errors on constantly. The documentation requirements are confusing, and providers often make mistakes. As long as you did actually pay for childcare (even if the amount was lower than what was reported), this is really just a matter of filing the 1040-X with the correct amounts. Given that you're voluntarily correcting this before any IRS contact, they're extremely unlikely to view this as anything but a good-faith correction. Don't let anxiety about this consume you - it's a relatively minor correction in the grand scheme of tax issues.

I went through almost the exact same situation two years ago with my daycare provider inflating numbers on their year-end statement. The guilt and anxiety were eating me alive, but the process was much smoother than I expected. Here's what worked for me: I filed Form 1040-X and in the explanation section wrote something like "Correcting Child and Dependent Care Credit based on actual amounts paid rather than inflated documentation provided by care provider." I included my bank statements and receipts showing the actual payments I made. The IRS processed my amended return without any issues - no audit, no penalties, just had to pay the additional tax owed plus a small amount of interest (maybe $18 on a $800 difference). The whole thing was resolved in about 8 weeks. The fact that you're coming forward voluntarily before they discover it shows good faith. Don't torture yourself over this - you trusted documentation that was provided to you, which is completely reasonable. File the 1040-X with the correct amounts and put this behind you. You're doing the right thing.

I'm going through this exact situation right now! Filed my paper return 5 weeks ago and have been checking the USPS tracking obsessively even though it stopped updating after leaving my local post office. Reading through all these responses has been incredibly helpful - I had no idea about the tax transcript option or that paper returns take 6-8 weeks to process. I think I'm going to try the transcript route first since that's free, and if I still don't see anything after 8 weeks I'll consider one of the services mentioned here to help get through to the IRS. The certified mail tip is definitely something I'll remember for next year - $7 would have saved me weeks of anxiety! Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. It's reassuring to know this happens more often than I thought and that there are actual solutions.

I feel for you! I went through this exact same panic last year when I mailed my return without tracking. The waiting and not knowing is honestly the worst part. One thing that really helped calm my nerves was understanding that the IRS actually receives and processes the vast majority of paper returns just fine - they handle millions of them every year. The postal service, despite its issues, is pretty reliable for regular mail deliveries to government offices. What I learned is that the "tracking stopped updating" issue is super common with USPS. Once mail gets to certain processing facilities, especially large government mail centers, the tracking often goes dark even though the mail is still moving through the system normally. I'd definitely recommend checking your tax transcript online like others mentioned - that was actually how I first found out my return had been received, about 2 weeks before the Where's My Refund tool showed anything. It's free and updates more frequently than the refund tracker. Try to hang in there - 3 weeks is still well within the normal timeframe for paper returns. I know it's easier said than done, but most of these "lost" returns turn out to be just fine, they're just moving through a much slower system than we're used to in the digital age.

Make sure to check your credit report ASAP!!! When my ex controlled our finances, he also opened credit cards in my name that I didn't know about. Financial abuse often extends beyond just taxes. Get free reports from all three bureaus through annualcreditreport.com and look for any accounts you don't recognize.

I'm so sorry you're going through this - financial abuse is real and the tax implications can be overwhelming. Beyond the excellent advice about innocent spouse relief, I want to emphasize that you should act quickly. There are time limits for filing Form 8857, and the sooner you start the process, the better your chances of success. Document everything you can remember about being excluded from financial decisions. Screenshots of texts, emails, or even diary entries from that time period can help establish the pattern of control. The IRS needs to see that you had no reasonable opportunity to know about the fraudulent items on your joint returns. Also, don't let fear paralyze you. Yes, joint filers are generally liable for the entire tax bill, but innocent spouse relief exists specifically for situations like yours. The IRS has seen cases of financial abuse before, and they have procedures in place to help victims. You took the hardest step by leaving that relationship - now take the next step to protect yourself financially.