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Welcome to the community! I'm also relatively new here but have been learning so much from everyone's experiences. Your situation sounds really well thought out - it's great that you're planning ahead like this. One thing I wanted to mention that I don't think has been covered yet is the timing of when benefits get calculated. Since your ex-husband passed away at 63 before collecting, his survivor benefit will be based on what his benefit would have been at his Full Retirement Age, not reduced for early claiming. This could actually work in your favor compared to if he had started collecting early. Also, I've seen several people mention keeping good records, and I can't stress this enough. Even though it's been years since your divorce, try to track down not just your marriage certificate, but also your divorce decree. SSA will want to see both documents to verify the length of your marriage and that you meet all the requirements. The fact that you have potentially two different survivor benefit options really does give you a lot of financial security planning opportunities that many people don't have. Best of luck with everything!
Welcome to you too! This is such a helpful community for navigating these complex Social Security situations. That's a really good point about the benefit calculation being based on his Full Retirement Age amount rather than a reduced early benefit - I hadn't considered that aspect. It does sound like that could work in my favor since he had pretty high earnings. I definitely need to track down my divorce decree - I know I have it somewhere but it's probably buried in old files. It's encouraging to hear from so many people who have successfully navigated similar situations. The planning aspect is exactly why I wanted to understand this now rather than wait until I'm actually facing these decisions during what would already be a difficult time. Thanks for the warm welcome and the great advice about the timing of benefit calculations!
As someone who's dealt with Social Security benefits for years, I wanted to emphasize something that's been touched on but bears repeating - documentation is absolutely crucial for divorced spouse survivor benefits. SSA tends to scrutinize these claims more heavily than regular survivor benefits. Beyond the marriage certificate and divorce decree that others mentioned, also gather any documentation showing your ex-husband's full name, Social Security number, and date of death if you have access to it. If you don't have his SSN, his full name and date of birth should be sufficient for SSA to locate his record. One more strategic point: since you're 58 and planning ahead, consider that if you do become widowed from your current marriage before age 60, you might want to consult with a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security claiming strategies. The timing of when you claim survivor benefits versus your own retirement benefit can have significant long-term financial implications, and the "optimal" strategy depends on your specific financial situation and the benefit amounts involved. You're really smart to be thinking through all these scenarios now while you have time to prepare!
This is excellent advice about documentation - thank you! I definitely don't have my ex-husband's Social Security number anymore, but I do have his full name and date of birth. It's good to know that should be sufficient for SSA to locate his record. The point about consulting with a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security is really smart too. I hadn't thought about the complexity of timing between survivor benefits and my own retirement benefit, but it sounds like there could be significant financial implications depending on how I sequence those decisions. Everyone in this community has been so helpful in breaking down all these scenarios and considerations. I feel much more prepared to handle whatever situations might arise, and I have a clear list of documents to gather and strategies to research. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience!
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This whole thread is making me nervous... I'm turning FRA next month and planned to do exactly what the original poster described (take ex-spouse benefits now, switch to mine at 70). Now I'm worried! I was born in 1953 though, so maybe I'm still ok? Does anyone know for sure?
Yes, you're fine! If you were born in 1953, you're still eligible for the restricted application strategy. The cutoff is being born on or before January 1, 1954. So you just made it under the wire. Make sure to specify that you want to file a "restricted application for spousal benefits only" when you apply. Don't just say you want to apply for benefits or they might assume you want to file for all available benefits.
@Marcus Marsh is absolutely right - you re'still eligible since you were born in 1953! Just to add to his advice, when you go to apply, I d'recommend bringing a copy of the SSA s'own documentation about restricted applications for people born before 1954. Some representatives still get confused about the rules. Also, make sure your ex-husband is entitled to benefits he (doesn t'have to be collecting them, just entitled .)Good luck!
As someone new to navigating Social Security, this thread has been incredibly educational! It's concerning how much misinformation gets passed around, even from SSA representatives themselves. For anyone else reading this who might be confused: the key takeaway seems to be that the restricted application strategy (taking spousal/ex-spousal benefits while letting your own grow) is ONLY available if you were born on or before January 1, 1954. If you were born after that date, you're subject to "deemed filing" - meaning you automatically get the higher of your two benefits, not both sequentially. Katherine, I'm glad you called back and got the correct information! It's a good reminder that when it comes to something this important financially, it's always worth getting a second opinion from SSA directly. The difference between getting this right vs wrong could literally be tens of thousands of dollars over a lifetime. Does anyone know if there's an official SSA publication that clearly explains these birth date cutoffs? It seems like having that documentation handy would help avoid confusion with representatives who might not be up to date on the rules.
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Thank you all for the helpful information! After reading everything, I think we'll still proceed with me filing at 65 and my wife filing for spousal benefits at 62. The reduced amount will still help our situation, and with my health concerns, waiting doesn't make sense for us. I've already enrolled in Medicare (did that last month), so we're all set there. I appreciate everyone sharing their experiences and knowledge - this has been really valuable for our planning!
Sounds like you've made an informed decision based on your specific circumstances, which is exactly what Social Security planning should be about. Everyone's situation is different. One last tip: when your wife applies for spousal benefits, make sure she has your Social Security number, your date of birth, and your date of filing readily available. This will help streamline her application process. Best of luck to both of you!
One thing to keep in mind is that your wife's spousal benefit won't automatically start when you file - she needs to submit her own application. The SSA doesn't automatically enroll spouses, even if they're clearly eligible. Also, make sure she applies using Form SSA-2 (Application for Spouse's or Divorced Spouse's Benefits) rather than the regular retirement application. The process is pretty straightforward, but having all your documentation ready (marriage certificate, her birth certificate, your SSN) will help avoid delays. Since you're both filing early, it's smart that you've already done the math on what to expect. Good luck with everything!
Thanks for mentioning Form SSA-2! I hadn't heard about that specific form before. I was planning to have her apply online through the SSA website - will that automatically use the right form, or should we specifically request SSA-2? Also, good point about having all the documentation ready. We have our marriage certificate and birth certificates, but I should double-check that they're certified copies since I think that's what they require for these applications.
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wait so if you apply for social security do you HAVE to take medicare too?? I'm turning 65 later this year but still have good insurance through my wifes job. dont want to pay for something i dont need yet
No, you don't have to take Medicare when you apply for Social Security. They're separate programs, though they're administered by the same agency. However, if you're still working and covered by employer insurance, you should look into whether you need to enroll in Medicare Part A (which is premium-free for most people) even if you delay Part B. There can be penalties for delaying Medicare enrollment if you don't have qualifying coverage. You should contact Social Security directly to discuss your specific situation.
As someone new to navigating Social Security, this whole thread has been incredibly educational! I'm still a few years away from retirement but seeing real experiences like yours helps me understand what to expect. The fact that SSA representatives actually call to discuss complex benefit options is reassuring - I always assumed everything would be done through impersonal letters or online portals. One question for the community: For those who've gone through this process, how far in advance should someone apply? The original poster mentioned applying 6 weeks ago - is that typical timing, or should people apply earlier to avoid any delays in receiving their first payments?
Great question! From what I've learned through this community and my own research, the general recommendation is to apply about 3 months before you want your benefits to start. This gives SSA time to process your application and ensures you receive your first payment on time. Some people apply even earlier (4-6 months) if they have complex work histories or documentation issues. The timing can also depend on your birth month - if you're born early in the month, you might want to apply a bit sooner since Social Security pays benefits the month after they're due. It's definitely better to apply early rather than late, as there can sometimes be processing delays. You can always specify a future start date when you apply online through the mySocialSecurity portal.
Nia Harris
I'm so sorry this happened to you! I went through something very similar last year when applying for my own retirement benefits. Had a scheduled appointment, got all the confirmations, and then... nothing. Complete radio silence from SSA. What I learned from that frustrating experience is that you absolutely cannot wait for them to reach out to you. The system is so backlogged and understaffed that missed appointments just get lost in the shuffle unless YOU follow up aggressively. Here's what worked for me: - Called the 1-800 number at exactly 8:00 AM (set an alarm!) - Had all my confirmation numbers ready to read off - Specifically said "SSA failed to conduct my scheduled appointment" rather than just asking to reschedule - Asked for a supervisor when the first rep tried to put me at the back of the regular queue The whole process took about 6 weeks longer than it should have, but I did eventually get everything sorted out. The key is being persistent and not letting them treat this like it was your fault for "missing" the appointment. Your spousal benefits definitely won't process without that appointment - they need to do the calculations and paperwork even though they already know you're married from Medicare. Don't let anyone tell you it might happen automatically, because it won't. Good luck tomorrow morning! Let us know how it goes.
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Amun-Ra Azra
•@Nia Harris Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It s'both reassuring and frustrating to hear that this is such a common issue. I really appreciate the specific script about saying SSA "failed to conduct my scheduled appointment -" that s'much better phrasing than what I was planning to say. I m'definitely setting my alarm for 7:55 AM tomorrow to be ready to call right at 8:00. It sounds like everyone who s'successfully gotten through has had to be really strategic about timing and persistence. Did you end up getting your full retroactive benefits once everything was finally processed? I m'worried that all these delays might affect when my spousal benefits actually start, especially since I was supposed to have that appointment earlier this week. I ll'definitely update everyone here on how the call goes. This thread has been incredibly helpful - it s'nice to know I m'not alone in dealing with SSA s'broken appointment system!
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Max Reyes
I'm dealing with this exact same issue right now! Had a scheduled phone appointment for my retirement benefits application last Friday - got the text confirmation, email, AND a mailed letter. They even called Thursday night with an automated reminder. Friday comes and... nothing. No call, no explanation, no follow-up. It's been 5 days now and I've tried calling back twice but keep getting the "all circuits are busy" message. This thread is really helpful because I was starting to wonder if I somehow missed the call or if my phone was acting up. Clearly this is a widespread problem with their system. From reading everyone's experiences here, it sounds like I need to stop waiting around and be much more aggressive about following up. I'm going to try calling first thing Monday morning at 8 AM sharp with all my confirmation numbers ready. It's really frustrating that we have to chase them down when THEY missed the appointment they scheduled. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories - at least now I know this isn't just happening to me!
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Nia Johnson
•@Max Reyes I m'so sorry you re'going through this too! It s'honestly shocking how many of us are dealing with the exact same issue - missed SSA appointments with no explanation or follow-up. At least we can all commiserate together! I just want to echo what everyone else has said about being really aggressive when you call Monday morning. Based on all the advice in this thread, make sure to: - Call at exactly 8 AM - Have all your confirmation numbers ready - Specifically say it was SSA s'error, not yours - Ask for a critical case manager or supervisor if needed I m'planning to call tomorrow morning myself and will definitely update this thread with how it goes. It sounds like persistence is absolutely key with their broken system right now. Hang in there - hopefully we can both get this sorted out soon! The fact that you got all the same confirmations I did text, (email, letter, AND reminder call just) proves this is definitely their system failure, not anything we did wrong.
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