As someone new to navigating SSI, this whole thread has been incredibly eye-opening. I had no idea that living arrangements and household expenses could affect benefit amounts so significantly. The fact that adding property taxes and homeowner's insurance bumped the monthly benefit up by $250 shows how important it is to get these calculations right from the start. Roger, I really hope you're able to get this corrected through the reconsideration process. $1,750 in backpay is definitely worth fighting for, especially when you were paying those expenses all along. The representative's explanation about your nephew not having income to pay his share makes no sense - that's not how SSI calculations work at all. Thank you to everyone who shared their knowledge and experiences here. This is exactly the kind of practical information that families dealing with disability benefits need to know.

As a newcomer to this community, I'm really grateful for all the detailed explanations everyone has provided. This situation highlights something I think many of us don't realize - that SSI calculations are much more complex than just a simple flat payment. Roger, based on what the experienced members here are saying, it definitely sounds like you have grounds for an appeal. The fact that you were paying those property taxes and homeowner's insurance expenses throughout the entire retroactive period should mean they factor into the backpay calculation, not just future payments. I'm curious though - when you first applied, did the initial claims rep specifically ask about all household expenses, or did they just focus on certain types? I'm wondering if there's a way to better prepare for these conversations to avoid similar issues in the future. The idea of getting everything documented upfront seems really important. Good luck with your reconsideration request! I'll be following to see how it turns out.

Reading through this thread as someone new to Social Security rules, I'm struck by how much conflicting information there is even among people who seem knowledgeable! It really highlights how complex the system is. @Philip Cowan, I think your decision to go with an in-person appointment is wise - it seems like getting consistent information over the phone is nearly impossible based on everyone's experiences here. One thing I noticed from the discussion is that several people mentioned the 2015 rule changes, but there seems to be disagreement about exactly what those changes affected. When you go to your appointment, it might be worth asking the representative to walk you through the specific current rules for child benefits versus spousal benefits, since those seem to be treated differently. Also, I'd suggest bringing a calculator or asking them to help you run the numbers on both scenarios - claiming now so your son can get benefits versus waiting until 70. The financial comparison over your lifetime might help make the decision clearer. Good luck with your appointment, and I really hope you'll share what you learn since this seems to be a situation many parents face!

As someone new to this community and Social Security benefits in general, I've been following this discussion with great interest since I'm likely to face similar decisions in the future. The range of experiences and advice shared here really illustrates how challenging it can be to get clear, consistent information about these important benefits. @Philip Cowan, I admire how thoughtfully you're approaching this decision - trying to balance maximizing your own retirement security while ensuring your son gets the support he's entitled to. That's exactly the kind of careful planning more people should be doing. What strikes me most from reading through everyone's responses is how much the rules seem to have changed over the years, particularly around 2015, and how even SSA representatives sometimes provide conflicting guidance. It makes me wonder if there should be clearer, more accessible resources for families navigating these situations. I'm really hoping your in-person appointment goes well and that you're able to get definitive answers. If you're comfortable sharing what you learn, I think it would be incredibly valuable for other parents who might find themselves in similar circumstances. The fact that this thread has generated so much discussion shows how common and confusing these situations can be. Best of luck with your appointment - looking forward to hearing how it goes!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Jacob. This is definitely one of the most difficult aspects of Social Security's survivor benefit rules. As others have mentioned, you're correct that remarrying before age 60 would end your eligibility for survivor benefits from your deceased wife. I know it feels frustrating to have your personal life decisions tied to government benefits, but the financial impact is significant enough that it's worth carefully considering your timing. At $2,250/month, you'd be giving up over $50,000 if you marry before turning 60. That said, I've seen couples in your situation handle this in different ways - some choose to have commitment ceremonies, domestic partnerships, or simply live together until the survivor reaches 60. Others decide the emotional and personal benefits of marriage outweigh the financial cost. There's no universally "right" answer. My suggestion would be to sit down with your partner and have an open conversation about the numbers and your options. Make sure they understand this isn't about your commitment to them, but about making a practical financial decision that affects both of your futures together. A good partner will want to help you make the choice that's best for your shared long-term security. Whatever you decide, definitely confirm the details with SSA directly before making any final decisions.

I'm a financial planner who has helped many clients navigate this exact situation. The age 60 rule for survivor benefits is unfortunately very rigid - there are no exceptions for "financial hardship" or other circumstances if you're a surviving spouse without minor/disabled children. Since you're 58 now, you're looking at potentially giving up around $54,000 over the next two years if you marry before 60. That's a substantial amount that could significantly impact your retirement security. I'd recommend doing a comprehensive financial analysis that includes: 1) Your current survivor benefit vs. what your own retirement benefit would be at different claiming ages, 2) Your partner's financial situation and ability to help offset the lost income, 3) Other sources of retirement income you both have. Many of my clients in similar situations have opted for commitment ceremonies or domestic partnerships while waiting. It allows them to make their commitment public and official in every way except legally. Some states also have domestic partner registrations that provide many of the same legal protections as marriage without affecting federal benefits. The key is having transparent conversations with your partner about the long-term financial impact on both of your retirements. This decision will affect your household income for decades to come.

I just wanted to share a resource that helped me when I was dealing with family maximum questions - your local SOAR (SSI/SSDI Outreach, Access, and Recovery) program might have benefits counselors who specialize in these exact situations. They're free and really know the ins and outs of how different benefits interact. Also, if you haven't already, you might want to document your current monthly budget and expenses now, so you can quickly identify what adjustments you'll need to make if there is a reduction. Having that baseline will make it easier to plan for any changes. The anxiety of not knowing is really tough, but it sounds like you're handling this so well by getting informed ahead of time. Most people get blindsided by family maximum reductions, so you're already way ahead of the game by planning for this!

I'm going through a very similar situation right now! My mom is planning to file for spousal benefits next year too, and I've been worried sick about how it might affect my DAC benefits. Reading through all these responses has been incredibly helpful - I had no idea about some of these details like the different family maximum calculations for SSDI vs retirement benefits, or that there might be state supplemental programs available. One thing I wanted to add that might help you (and others in similar situations) - I found out that some Social Security field offices will do "what if" calculations over the phone if you ask specifically. They can tell you hypothetically what would happen to your benefits if another person were added to the record. It might be worth asking for this when you call. Also, if you're comfortable sharing, it would be really helpful if you could update this thread once you get the actual numbers from SSA. I'm sure there are other people in similar situations who would benefit from knowing how the process went and what kind of timeline to expect. Thanks for posting this question - it's made me realize I need to stop putting off making that call to SSA myself!

Has anyone received retro payments when they applied for spousal benefits? Like if she qualifies now but didn't know to apply?

I just wanted to update everyone - I finally got through to SSA this morning after trying for days! The agent confirmed I do qualify for a small additional spousal benefit of about $245/month. Not huge, but definitely helpful. They're processing it now and said it should start with my next payment. Thanks everyone for your help explaining this complicated system!