This thread has been so incredibly informative! As someone new to navigating Social Security benefits, I had no idea how complex the "deemed spouse" situation could be for separated couples. Reading through everyone's experiences and advice has really opened my eyes to how important proper documentation and preparation are for these cases. What strikes me most is how much variation there seems to be in how different SSA representatives handle these situations - some seem to automatically assume spousal income will count, while others are more thorough in evaluating the separation evidence. That makes the advice about calling ahead to clarify policies and potentially getting professional consultation even more valuable. The specific tips about SSA Publication 05-11000, the importance of using "permanent" separation language, and documenting community ties like voting registrations are things I never would have thought of. It's also encouraging to hear from people like Zara and Yara who have successfully navigated or are currently navigating similar situations. For anyone else reading this thread who might be in a comparable situation - this discussion is a goldmine of practical advice! Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences and expertise.

This thread has been absolutely invaluable! As someone who works in social services and frequently helps clients navigate SSA benefits, I want to add a few practical tips that might help your husband's application process go more smoothly: 1. When he calls SSA, ask to speak specifically with someone experienced in "living apart" determinations for married couples applying for SSI. Not all representatives are equally familiar with these nuances. 2. Create a timeline document showing the 10-year separation with key dates (when you moved to separate addresses, when you started filing taxes separately, etc.) - this helps paint a clear picture of the permanent nature of your separation. 3. If possible, get a letter from a mutual friend or family member who can attest to your long-term separation. Third-party verification can be very compelling. 4. Keep copies of EVERYTHING you submit, and get confirmation numbers for any documents sent to SSA. Your case sounds exceptionally strong with the decade-long separation and comprehensive documentation. The fact that you've maintained completely separate lives, finances, and addresses for 10 years puts you in a much better position than many cases I've seen successfully approved. Don't let anyone discourage you from applying - your situation clearly meets the criteria for permanent separation that SSA looks for in these determinations.

As someone who recently helped my grandmother navigate a similar situation with state teacher retirement and Social Security, I can't emphasize enough how important it is to get the official calculations from the source. What I learned is that these benefit coordination rules are incredibly nuanced - what works for one person might not apply to another even in seemingly similar situations. The Railroad Retirement Board has specialized representatives who understand these intersections much better than general SSA staff. One practical tip: when your aunt calls RRB, ask them to send her a written summary of the benefit calculation and explanation of any offsets. Having it in writing helped us tremendously when we had follow-up questions later. Also, don't be discouraged if the first person she talks to can't give her a complete answer - these cases sometimes require escalation to more specialized staff. The key is persistence and making sure she gets a thorough analysis of all her options. Even if the benefit ends up being smaller than hoped due to various offsets, that extra monthly income could still make a real difference in her financial security. Good luck to your aunt!

I wanted to add something that might be relevant for your aunt's situation - the application process itself. When she contacts the Railroad Retirement Board, she should be prepared that getting an appointment and complete analysis might take several weeks or even months depending on their current workload. In the meantime, she can create a my Social Security account online at ssa.gov to review her complete earnings history and get an estimate of what her Social Security retirement benefit would be before any offsets. This will give her a baseline number to work with when she talks to RRB about the coordination. Also, if she decides to move forward with applying for Social Security benefits, she can potentially request up to 6 months of retroactive benefits since she's already past full retirement age. Given that she's 74, this could result in a decent lump sum payment even if her ongoing monthly benefit is reduced. One last thought - make sure she keeps detailed notes of every conversation she has with both RRB and SSA, including names, dates, and reference numbers. These cases can involve multiple phone calls and it's easy to lose track of what information was provided when. Having good records will help if there are any discrepancies later on.

As someone who works with disability claims, I want to emphasize that your sister should also be prepared for the appeals process if needed. Initial SSDI applications are denied about 65% of the time, even for legitimate claims. If she gets denied initially, don't give up! The reconsideration and hearing levels have much higher approval rates. Keep all her medical records organized and make sure her doctors are documenting how her rheumatoid arthritis specifically prevents her from performing her nursing duties. The key is showing she cannot do her past work AND cannot adjust to other work given her age, education, and limitations. With 35+ years of work history and a solid medical condition like severe RA, she has a strong case - just be patient with the process.

Just want to add that your sister should also consider whether she has any private disability insurance through her nursing job that she might need to coordinate with SSDI. Some employer policies require you to apply for Social Security disability and will offset their payments accordingly. Also, if she's been paying into a state disability program, she should check if that affects her SSDI eligibility or timing. It's worth reviewing all her insurance policies before the SSDI approval comes through to make sure she's maximizing all available benefits and understands any coordination requirements.

Just wanted to add one more consideration that might help with your decision - make sure to factor in the tax implications too. When you're working part-time from 67-70 while receiving delayed retirement credits, you won't have Social Security income during those years, which could put you in a lower tax bracket. This might be a good time to do Roth conversions or other tax planning strategies. Also, your son's benefits will be taxable income to him (though likely at a low rate given his age), so keep that in mind when planning. The strategy sounds solid overall - getting those child benefits during his teenage years when expenses are high (especially if college is on the horizon) can be really valuable financially and practically.

As someone who's been navigating Social Security rules for my own family, I wanted to mention a few practical considerations that might help with your timeline planning. First, when you file at 62, there's typically a few months processing time before your son's benefits start, so factor that into your cash flow planning. Also, make sure you have all his documentation ready (birth certificate, etc.) when you apply since auxiliary benefits require additional paperwork. One thing I learned the hard way - if your son plans to work during high school (even part-time), his earnings could affect his Social Security benefits too. The earnings limit applies to beneficiaries under 18, though it's pretty generous for most teen jobs. Also consider timing your initial application strategically. If you turn 62 early in the year, you might want to wait until later in the year to file so your son gets benefits closer to when school expenses ramp up. The retroactive payment rules allow up to 6 months of back benefits when you're at full retirement age or older, but that doesn't apply at 62. Your plan sounds well thought out overall - just wanted to share some of the practical details I wish someone had told me about the process!

This entire discussion has been incredibly helpful! I'm approaching FRA in a few months with a birthday on the 22nd, and I've been stressing about this exact timing issue. Like so many others here, I had no idea about the "day before the month" rule and was planning to wait an extra month to be "safe." What really resonates with me is how consistently everyone's experiences align - it gives me confidence that this rule is reliable and not some fluke. The fact that the SSA's own online system suggests the birthday month when you select "earliest month without reduction" is reassuring too. I'm particularly grateful for the professional confirmation from Oliver and the POMS reference (GN 00302.400). Having that official citation makes me feel much more comfortable proceeding with the birthday month start date. One question for those who've completed the process: after you selected your birthday month as the start date, did you receive any follow-up communication from SSA asking you to verify or confirm that timing? I want to make sure I'm prepared if they reach out with questions about starting before my actual birthday date. Thanks to everyone for sharing such detailed experiences - this thread has probably saved me from missing out on a month of benefits I'm entitled to!

This thread has been absolutely invaluable for someone like me who's been putting off the Social Security application due to confusion about timing! I turn FRA next month with a birthday on the 12th, and I've been going back and forth about whether to start benefits in my birthday month or wait until the following month. Reading everyone's experiences with the "day before the month" rule has been such a relief. I spent hours on the SSA website trying to find clear guidance on this and came up empty - it's incredible that such an important and beneficial rule is so poorly communicated. Like many others here, I would have unnecessarily delayed my benefits by a month without this community knowledge. The professional confirmation from Oliver and the specific POMS reference (GN 00302.400) really sealed the deal for me. I'm going to start my application tonight and confidently select my birthday month as the start date. It's amazing how this one thread has probably saved countless people from missing out on benefits they're rightfully entitled to. Thank you to everyone who shared their real-world experiences - this is exactly the kind of practical information that makes all the difference when navigating these complex government systems!