This is such a helpful discussion! I'm dealing with a similar situation with my company's car allowance - they're taxing it but excluding it from 401k calculations. After reading through everyone's experiences, I'm realizing I need to be more systematic about this. The advice about requesting the Summary Plan Description and looking for the specific definition of "eligible compensation" is exactly what I needed to hear. I've been accepting HR's vague explanations without actually seeing the documentation. What really struck me was Rachel's calculation showing $60,000 in lost retirement savings over 30 years. I never thought about the compound effect like that. My car allowance is $600/month, so even with a smaller amount, I'm potentially looking at significant long-term losses. I think my next steps will be: 1) Request the SPD and look for specific language about what's included/excluded, 2) Calculate the actual financial impact like Rachel did, and 3) approach my manager during our next one-on-one to discuss restructuring my compensation package. Has anyone found that companies are more willing to make these changes during annual compensation reviews, or is it better to bring it up as soon as possible? I don't want to wait until next year if there's a chance to fix this sooner.

This thread has been incredibly eye-opening! I'm a tax preparer and I see this confusion all the time with clients. What many people don't realize is that the IRS has different rules for different purposes - what counts as taxable income for Form W-2 purposes isn't necessarily the same as what counts for retirement plan contributions. The key thing to understand is that your employer's 401(k) plan document is essentially a contract that defines the rules for that specific plan. As long as they follow their own written rules consistently and pass IRS non-discrimination testing, they have a lot of flexibility in how they define "eligible compensation." I've seen clients in similar situations who were able to get their issues resolved, but it usually required one of three approaches: 1) Finding an actual error in how the company was interpreting their own plan document, 2) Negotiating a compensation restructure during performance reviews, or 3) Working with benefits administrators to clarify plan language that was genuinely ambiguous. The long-term impact calculations people have shared here are spot-on. Missing employer matching on even $500-1000/month in allowances can easily cost you $30,000-60,000 in retirement savings over a career. That's definitely worth a few uncomfortable conversations with HR! My advice: get the plan documents, run the numbers, and approach it as a financial planning optimization rather than a complaint. Good luck everyone!

Something nobody's mentioned yet - if you're planning to get divorced and will have a formal agreement, you could address this for future years. A divorce decree or separation agreement can specify which parent gets to claim the child for tax purposes, regardless of the residency test. But for your current situation, it's like everyone is saying - only one of you can claim the child as a qualifying child, and usually that's the custodial parent (who the child lived with more). Also, look into the child and dependent care credit if either of you paid for childcare while working or looking for work. That's separate and has its own rules.

I see you're getting a lot of good advice here, but let me add something important that might help with your decision-making process. As others have mentioned, with MFS filing status, you're both ineligible for the Earned Income Credit regardless of who claims your daughter - that's a significant tax benefit you're losing. Given that your daughter lived with you for the majority of the year (10+ months), you would typically be the one eligible to claim the Child Tax Credit under the residency test. The fact that your husband provided more financial support doesn't override this requirement for the CTC. However, before you finalize your filing approach, you might want to run the numbers both ways: MFS with you claiming the CTC versus Married Filing Jointly. Even though you separated, you can still file jointly if you were married as of December 31st. Sometimes the overall tax savings from filing jointly (including potential EIC eligibility) outweigh the benefits of filing separately, even in separation situations. If there are reasons you absolutely must file separately (like wanting to keep finances completely separate or liability concerns), then yes, you should claim your daughter since she lived with you, and your husband cannot use the ODC as an alternative way to claim the same child.

Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be! Here's the simple version: 1) If anyone in the household has a regular medical FSA, nobody in the household can contribute to an HSA 2) If the FSA is limited to just dental/vision, then HSA is still allowed 3) If the FSA is "post-deductible" (only kicks in after meeting deductible), HSA is still allowed I went through this whole mess last year. Ended up having my wife decline her FSA so I could max out my HSA since the HSA has better long-term benefits (investment options + no "use it or lose it" rule).

Just wanted to add another perspective for folks dealing with this FSA/HSA household issue - timing matters a lot for your decision! If you're currently in a situation where your spouse has a regular FSA that's disqualifying you from HSA contributions, don't forget that you can make changes during your spouse's next open enrollment period. Most companies have open enrollment in the fall for the following year's benefits. Also worth noting: if your spouse has a qualifying life event (like job change, birth of child, etc.), they might be able to switch from a regular FSA to a limited purpose FSA mid-year, which could open up HSA eligibility for you sooner than waiting for the next enrollment period. The key is planning ahead since these accounts have different contribution deadlines. HSA contributions can be made up until the tax filing deadline (usually April 15th), but FSA elections are typically locked in during open enrollment and can't be changed without a qualifying event. One strategy that worked for my family: we calculated the total tax savings from both scenarios (spouse FSA + my regular health plan vs. spouse limited FSA + my HSA) and found the HSA route saved us about $800 more per year, especially since we can invest HSA funds for long-term growth.

The community wisdom on this is pretty consistent: run the numbers both ways before deciding. Most tax software allows you to calculate both scenarios before finalizing. In my experience, MFJ is better for about 95% of couples, but those 5% where MFS works better usually see SIGNIFICANT benefits that make it worthwhile. What's your specific concern about filing jointly vs separately?

As someone new to this community, I really appreciate all the detailed responses here! I had no idea about the rule that if one spouse itemizes when filing separately, both spouses must itemize - that's a crucial detail that could significantly impact the decision. One thing I'm curious about that hasn't been mentioned yet: how does the timing work if you want to change your mind? Like if you file separately in April but then realize joint would have been better, is there a way to amend and switch filing statuses for that tax year? Or are you locked in once you submit? Also, for anyone who has experience with both methods - how much more complicated is the paperwork when filing separately? Does it essentially double the work since you're preparing two returns instead of one?

I'm currently in the same situation - verified my Michigan identity on March 8th and trying to figure out the timeline. Reading through everyone's experiences here has been incredibly helpful! It sounds like the consensus is 19-24 days is the typical range, which would put me around March 31st-April 5th for my refund. I'm also new to Michigan taxes (moved from Arizona last year) and was completely caught off guard by the verification requirement since my federal refund came through so quickly. It's reassuring to know this is standard procedure and not an indication that something went wrong with my filing. The consistency of everyone's timelines gives me confidence that Michigan's system, while slower than federal, is at least predictable. I'll try to be patient and stop checking the "Where's My Refund" tool quite so obsessively!

I'm also going through this verification process right now! Just completed my identity verification with Michigan on March 10th after reading through all these helpful experiences. It's my first time filing Michigan taxes since moving here from Colorado last year, and I had no idea this verification step was so common. Based on everyone's shared timelines, it looks like I should expect my refund sometime around April 2nd-7th if the 19-24 day pattern holds true. I really appreciate how everyone has shared their actual dates and experiences - this is way more useful than the vague "processing times may vary" language on the Michigan Treasury website. It's reassuring to know that while the wait is longer than federal returns, the timeline seems fairly predictable. I'll try to resist the urge to check the "Where's My Refund" tool every day and just be patient for those 3-4 weeks!